An Open Letter To The New Mom

Becoming a new mom is exciting, yet overwhelming in every aspect.  New babies, unusual hormones levels, adjusting to your new responsibly of keeping tiny humans alive AND miraculously keeping yourself afloat as well.  

Hind sight is always 20/20, right?  

Looking back a few years, here is what I wish I could have said to myself right after I brought my twin boys home and settled into my role as a new mom:

an open letter to the new mom

Come Up with a mommy mantra:

“You’ve got this!” or “This is it. Don’t freak out now!” or maybe“You’re amazing!” 

Whatever it is. Say it to yourself and say it to yourself often.

Stuff gets hard, hormones are raging.  You are exhausted.

Sometimes you will feel that your best is just not enough. That’s when you go back to your mommy mantra, say it over and over until you have slapped some sense into yourself.

Snap out of it!

How the heck do you think your babies have survived thus far? They are here because of you of course!

It’s OK to just move on:

Screwing up is ok, trust me, it’ll happen over and over again. 

Maybe it’s been awhile since the last diaper change…whoops.

Maybe you changed one kid twice and the other has been in the same jammie’s for two days?

No biggie. Crap happens and ya move on.

Don’t let yourself worry over the small mistakes or the silly day-in and day-out things that really aren’t a big deal.

You’ll mess up all the time.

Newsflash: every mom has moments they don’t want to confess.  So the quicker ya learn to move on, the better. 

Perfection can suck it:

With websites booming and publishing information judgmentally telling us how to perfectly parent, you need to know that there isn’t a one size fits all approach to parenting. 

It’s really a poo poo platter of things ya try out…then you keep the stuff that works and toss the stuff that was a total bust. 

Make time to touch:

Whatever you need to do to connect with your partner, do it.

If you’re totally exhausted and still wearing a t-shirt from 5 days ago covered with spit up…lay on the couch and just touch toes with your spouse.

Heck, a cuddle will get you farther than ya know in those first weeks after birth! There’s a reason you were attracted to this person in the first place.  Take the time to honor your relationship, because your love for one another is the reason why you are wearing that spit-up soaked t-shirt in the first place!

Reflect:

Think to yourself, in 10 years what will you really remember about THIS season of life? 

Will it be the memories of all the time spent stressing over endless piles of laundry?

Or will it be the memories of the first time your cute pudgy baby laughed at you or called you mama? 

Be present, make new memories and don’t let the stuff that won’t matter to you in 10 years get to you! Do you think you will ever wish that you folded one more load of towels?

Probably not, but you will never regret savoring every snuggle that you get with that cute baby of yours. 

Quit Comparing:

You will meet a ton of new moms. Many of them will be trying to tell you that their babies slept through the night at 4 weeks or were sitting up straight out of the womb, singing their  “ABC’s”.  

People gush about their kids. It’s human nature.

Just know if your kiddo doesn’t recite the alphabet until college…that’s ok too!

Each kid develops at a different rate. So why worry so much now?

Because, if you are doing your best to be everything your kids need, all the other stuff will happen when it’s supposed to. 

Make A Wish Some Other Time:

You’ve heard it a million times and said it yourself a few as well:

“Oh I wish they’d be talking so I could understand them.”

Or, “I can’t wait until the kids are running everywhere so I don’t have to cart the stroller around.”

STOP!  Immediately.

Pretty soon they’ll be saying phrases you wish they didn’t and will desperately long for the newborn days again.

It’s cliche and true, time flies and they are grown up before you know it.  Hit the slow-mo button and slow down time, better yet, hit the pause button if you can….savor every minute of everyday.

Lastly, I would tell my new mom self to “give yourself some street cred!” 

Have some confidence and know that you are kicking butt at this mom thing! Please mama, quit doubting yourself when you are having one of those days.

Everyone will experience mom fails.

EVERY.SINGLE.ONE!

It’s OK to be exhausted and hide in your closet with a box of wine to cry alone for absolutely no reason at all.

It’s totally justified.

So to the new moms everywhere, let me tell you that motherhood isn’t all unicorns and rainbows, but it is pretty damn amazing.  Remember this…in the eyes of your children, you are SUPER MOM and that is all that matters!

 

 

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