When I look back at our journey over the past 4 years I reflect on my relationship with my husband. Infertility takes it’s toll on marriage. There are so many ups and downs. Nobody can prepare you for the feeling of hitting rock bottom, but there isn’t anyone else other than your spouse who can pick you up like you need to be either.
How I Didn’t Allow Infertility to Take It’s Toll On Marriage:
When I exchanged vows with my husband 4 years ago, I made the commitment to be by his side, through good times and bad. Infertility can test the strength of a relationship, yet it can also build bonds stronger than you ever knew were possible. Although this was a trying and emotional time for my husband and I, it also became a opportunity for us to build and strengthen upon what we had.
We could have easily thrown in the towel several times and decide that a family was not for us. But at the end of the day, we both knew we wanted to be parents. We might not get to be parents on “our timeline” so to speak, but someday we knew we would. We took this opportunity to look at life differently and not focus on the things we didn’t have or couldn’t have when we wanted them. We choose to rejoice in the blessings that we did have. For one, we had each other. We decided to travel. We took some of our most memorable trips together. Heck, we didn’t have kids and could go anywhere at anytime. We embraced adventure and spontaneity.
I love that my husband is all of these things: fun, adventurous, and spontaneous. It makes life fun! But what I really love is that throughout this whole experience, he has been by my side. He has held my chin up and kissed my forehead when I learned that another round of IUI didn’t work. He was hopeful that someday we WOULD be parents, even when I began to wonder. He made the process of IVF a positive one for us and showed me the inner strength of a man. I know it couldn’t be easy seeing me cry when things got tough. But I also know that his heart smiled the first time he heard both heartbeats on our ultrasound. We stuck this crazy ride out together as best friends and will continue to lean on each other as parents. I have fallen in love with my husband over and over again throughout this journey and I can’t wait to do so even more when he is a dad.