Today, one in 6 couples will struggle with infertility. It is an extremely difficult, yet sadly common battle, that many people don’t talk about. We have both gone through infertility treatments to start our families and wanted to share our journey from infertility to motherhood with you. We want you to understand a little bit about how we got to where we are today. Here at Two Came True, we want you to feel heard, supported and understood.
My Journey From Infertility to Motherhood:
Trying to Conceive:
How long did you try to conceive before seeking fertility treatments?
We tried to start a family right after we got married in 2011. Our journey from infertility to motherhood ended up taking us 4 years before we welcomed our little loves into this world.
Share with us what the infertility process looked like for you:
The fertility process was long and at times grueling. Anyone who has been down this road before knows that it is bumpy. It took 4 years of tests and treatments to have our babies, but well worth the wait! We went through a total of 3 months of Clomid, 4 of Letrozol (combined with IUI) and then finally one IVF cycle. We did all of the typical tests one would do to rule out any possible diagnosis including several HSG tests and a hysteroscopy. It was during one of my final tests, before our transfer in October 2014, that the doctors discovered uterine polyps. I had to have the polyps surgically removed before we could move forward with the transfer in December 2014. We feel very fortunate that our first round of IVF was successful and we became pregnant with our miracles.
Infertility can mean many years of disappointment and pain. How were you able to overcome the feeling that each month/cycle would result in failure?:
The whole infertility process is an emotional roller-coaster. I was hesitant to get my hopes up because so many consecutive months were unsuccessful. At one point in the process my husband told me that I should get my hopes up and believe 100% that miracles do happen, because without hope, what do you have? Hope is part of this process; losing hope completely only made the process feel even more lonely. With that, I began to change my mindset and outlook on fertility treatments.
Although I was still nervous, I allowed myself to believe each month that it would work! When it didn’t, I am not going to lie, it sucked. I cried, hard, mostly alone in the shower or on the floor of my bedroom. I had to learn to let my husband in and share with him how I was feeling. He continually reassured me that I wasn’t in this alone, he too was feeling sad and wanted it so very badly. Our relationship strengthened each month and we shifted our focus on the wonderful things in our lives that we had to be thankful for. The let downs each month were easier to get over together as a strong team, a team that I consider unbreakable.
How did you stay positive during your struggle to conceive when you felt bombarded by pregnancy and birth announcements, baby showers, and other celebrations?:
One thing that I have learned throughout this process is that people are always fighting a battle that I know nothing about. Whether it happens to be infertility, addiction, or a relationship that is on the rocks, life is tough. I have learned to be more self aware about what I say to other people because I know what it feels like to be bombarded with questions about a tough aspect of my life.
Pregnancy After Infertility:
Tell us about the moment you found out you were finally pregnant!:
We found out we were pregnant the day after Christmas 2014! Technically we could have taken a test on Christmas morning, but we wanted to wait for the blood test for results we could rely on. I knew I would be getting the call from the doctor sometime that afternoon. I took the dog on a walk in the snow thinking about the news that might come.
When I got back to our house, I had missed the phone call from the nurse! I called the doctor’s office back immediately and told her that a nurse had just called to give me our pregnancy results. The front desk lady said “congratulations”, to which I responded, “wait we are pregnant?!” With excitement I wondered if IVF actually had worked! She said, “Oh no, I thought you said you were pregnant!” (enter the awkward silence). Holy crap! She put me on hold for what felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life while she rushed around to find a nurse who could deliver our real results.
When the nurse got finally came to the phone she too said “Congratulations” and revealed that indeed, we were pregnant. I literally fell to the floor with tears rolling down my face. I was hugging my dog and crying in disbelief. Given the high HCG results, we had a pretty good suspicion that we were probably pregnant with twins! I called my husband at work, SOBBING. I couldn’t even get out the words to say “we are pregnant!” Judging by my sobs, his first reaction was that it didn’t work until I could compose myself and say in a shaky voice, “you are going to be a daaaaaad!” Matt rushed home from work and with tears streaming down both of our faces, we exchanged a look knowing that our miracles were finally on their way !
Did your experiences with infertility weigh on your pregnancy?:
I chose to be incredibly optimistic from the moment of our transfer until the moment I met our boys on August 18th. The journey from infertility to motherhood was rough; I was determined to make pregnancy as smooth as possible. I tried to listen to my body and really focus on taking care of myself. I wanted to be as healthy as possible for the boys. Somehow even the days when I felt crappy weren’t so bad when I remained focused on the two little blessings that were growing in my belly.
Time to brag….tell us about your miracles!:
- JBH, 5lbs and 11 oz., 8:12 a.m.
- MWH, 5lbs and 15oz., 8:15 a.m
What about your birth options? Did your experiences with infertility impact your plan for delivery?:
I had a scheduled C-Section because I had large fibroids near my cervix that wouldn’t allow for me to deliver naturally.
Parenting After Infertility:
Tell us about the moment you meet your miracles for the first time?:
Luckily at the last minute my husband decided to use his GoPro and video tape the birth. I swear I lost half of my memory once the boys showed up! The moment I heard John cry my heart burst. I literally burst into the Oprah ugly cry in the middle of the OR. The nurses set him on the warmer next to my head so that I was able to see him crying. It was the most amazing moment to see our child for the first time! Then 3 minutes later Max joined us! When I saw him, I knew our family was complete. I felt such a sense of peace knowing both boys came into the world and were healthy.
How would you describe your perspective on being a parent after infertility?:
I am very flexible and patient as a new mama to twin boys. Since these are my first children, I don’t know any different than the chaos I experience each and every day. There are times when the boys are up all night and all I can do is look at them and get teary eyed. When things seem difficult and overwhelming, I take a deep breath and try to remember the battle it took to get here. Somehow the screaming and fussiness are easier to manage when I am reminded of how lucky Matt and I are. I am happy to have my little crying babes…even at 3am with a blowout!