Every mama navigates motherhood in her own unique way! Being a mom of twins, we tend to get creative at times. Learning how to embrace the chaos of multiples has a steep learning curve.
We have had our fair share of mom fails (trying finger painting with twins alone for the first time), embarrassing moments with our precious children in public (touching a man’s bald head at Nordstrom’s) and torturing ourselves with guilt over our lack of “perfection” (just getting both kids out of jammies by 3pm can feel hard to do some days).
With all of those not-so-great mom moments, there have come a lot of successes and even more lessons learned.
Aside from the typical lesson that every new mom learns along the way, like always protecting yourself when changing baby boys’ diapers and not playing airplane right after they have eaten… we have learned some less obvious, but equally powerful and important lessons as twin moms.
10 Powerful Lessons Every Mom of Twins MUST Learn:
1. It does get easier
Every mom of twins that you encounter along the way will tell you one thing..that parenting twins does get easier.
In fact, they aren’t wrong, it does get easier.
Can we be real for one second? Intrinsically, raising two babies (born at the same time) is going to be harder than one and there are times when you think that comment is a bunch of garbage!
While navigating through the wild journey, you start to realize that every step along the way, every milestone becomes easier than the previous.
Because as babies grow, they become less dependent, learn new skills and gain independence.
You gain experience as a parent and through your successes and road bumps, you become a little more confident.
2. You can’t be in two places at once
Every mother’s first instinct is to care for and protect her child. A twin mom is simply caring for and protecting two babies at once.
Two babies who…
…Are screaming their heads off because they both desperately need something at the same time.
….Are getting into two difference cabinets in separate areas of the house.
…Are running in opposite directions at the park.
The lesson here is, you have to care for and protect two babies with a little creativity. Being a mom of twins means that you usually triage multiple owies and bumps throughout your day.
You are constantly prioritizing who took a massive dump and needs to be changed over the baby that is fussing because they pushed the ball under the couch and can’t reach it!
It may mean letting one cry why you take care of the other, or positioning yourself on the playground where you are standing halfway between both kids.
Sadly, ladies your eyes cannot each look in different directions, you only have two hands, and you can’t be in two places at once, which means your definition of “overprotective mom” varies from the average.
3. Where my girls at? A support system is NECESSARY!
Unless you are fortunate enough to have found a big community of multiple mommies, being a twin mom can feel a little isolating at times.
We don’t say this to scare you or sound profoundly negative, but it’s true. Your experiences as a twin mom aren’t always comparable to your singleton mom friends.
Take it with a grain of salt mama, you want to be surrounded by a group of supportive mom friends.
And whether they completely understand the shoes you walk in, they will laugh at your latest mom fail and be there to calm your anxieties.
4. Two can be easier than one…really
Planning for two kids the same age is simpler than planning for several kids of different ages.
Once your babies hit a certain age, they will start playing together and entertaining each other. All the while you can drink wine and can catch up on TV. Don’t worry….we are totally kidding!
In all seriousness, school and sport schedules will more than likely will be the same (or similar), making logistics for a twin mom a point of ease.
5. Flex mama…you’ll get strong
Carrying two babies gives you superhuman abilities to make your hands and feet more useful when your arms are full of babies
It’s amazing what you learn to pick up with your feet while juggling two screaming babies that are in need of attention. Oh, I dropped a binky? No problem, I’ll use my toes to grab it!
Your body is constantly lifting heavy babies, and we mean constantly. Your arms will look the best they have in your life, perfectly muscular and strong! Bonus!
6. Your mind plays games
You love and cherish your babies..that goes without saying!
But even supermom needs a break, a moment to breathe. You long for the moments when you can grocery shop alone or use the bathroom in privacy.
The beautiful thing is, as soon as you get a moment alone, you find yourself longing to be back with your kids.
Embrace it, but don’t forget to take care of yourself! Happy mama = happy kiddos!
7. Time flies when you’re having fun
It’s cliche, but boy mama, is it true.
The days are long, but the years are short. Way too short!
You can roll your eyes after hearing it for the hundredth time, but truly, take in every minute, enjoy every last second, because it goes too fast.
We are not planning on adding any other children to our families. We find moments bittersweet. We catch ourselves thinking…
…That was the last time I will ever breastfeed my babies again.
…He took his first steps! Omigosh those were his first steps!
…Were those his first words? I am pretty sure I heard him say “mama”.
Pretty soon those “firsts” are gone and the babies are on to the next milestone. We try to focus on every last snuggle at night because those days will soon pass us by and we will wish we could go back and have just one more.
8. Find your inner mom strength
Becoming a mom of twins will be the hardest thing you have ever done, and will challenge you to the very core.
Just when you think you have nothing left to give, you are pushed to give just a little bit more.
It’s an instinct and inner spirit that fuels you to accomplish the impossible.
Dig down deep! Believe in yourself, trust your gut, and power on mama!
9. You get to be very organized
There is only one way to survive with twins and that is to get organized and stay that way. Even if it isn’t in your nature to function that way, twin mamahood forces you to find a system to keep your life neat and orderly.
If you are looking for a few tips and tricks to help you get organized as a new twin mom, check out our post here.
10. Comparing happens
Sometimes it is hard to remember that your twins are just two individual babies who shared a womb and a birthday. They grow and develop at different rates.
While it is easy to find yourself comparing, try not to. One will crawl, stand and walk before the other. One will sleep through the night before the other. One will be more social, one may be shy.
We try to tell people that our twins are simply brothers who arrived at the same time and have a really cool and unique bond.
So spend time relishing in the unique bond that they have with one another, a bond that is special and unlike any other on earth.
Watch how they communicate, how they create and imagine together and how they intuitively understand each other from the minute they come out of the womb. Witnessing the depths of this human relationship is one of the most magical pieces of being a twin mom.
Being a mom of twins is a gift. It’s chaotic and crazy beautiful at the same time. The lessons you learn along the way will serve you as your twins grow. Just don’t forget to take a moment, breathe it all in, and enjoy the magic.