Are you one to immediately Google “pregnancy sharp side pains” only to discover you’ve got an episode of gas and not a pregnancy complication?
Do you text your best friend at two in the morning, hoping she is awake and can explain why your nipples are on fire?
With any pregnancy, obstacles can come up. Yes, a twin pregnancy is considered high-risk, but that doesn’t mean that complications are inevitable.
Many women sail through an uneventful twin pregnancy, and others and deal with more serious issues. Uncomplicated or not, being pregnant is naturally anxiety-producing. When complications unfortunately arise, it can be downright scary.
We both experienced a few scary moments during our own twin pregnancies, and had very different experiences. We understand what it feels like to sit in the doctor’s office and receive unexpected and nerve wracking news. We aren’t downplaying pregnancy complications. Every person has a different experience, and each person handles situations the best they can. However, we are sharing what we learned from our separate challenges and how we coped with them the best we could.
How To Cope With Pregnancy Complications:
Don’t consult Dr. Google
With the world wide web at our fingertips, it is tempting to self-diagnose with a quick Google search. While that information can be helpful, it can also lead to misinformation and unwanted stress. Do your best to stay off of the internet or reading everyone’s stories about your condition. Relying on your health professional to guide you through your pregnancy complications is the safest way to keep your mind from wandering to the worst-case scenarios.
Ask All The Questions About Your Pregnancy Complications
“Does each twin get the same boob, or should I switch at every feeding?” There is no such thing as a silly question when it comes to your health or the health of your babies. Each time you are in the doctor’s office come prepared with your list of questions. Be specific and ask for clarity so you know exactly what to do to care for yourself and your babies. Remember, they’ve heard it all before. Nothing is off the table with your doctors.
Let Your Emotions Out
From failing a glucose test to your babies development being off track, emotions will come with each test result. Acknowledge the difficulty of your situation and let yourself feel whatever that may be. Any therapist will tell you that keeping it all in isn’t healthy. You don’t have to have it together all of the time. So whether you unload on your partner, a friend, or even in the shower, just let yourself process things. It is ok to feel the way that you do. When your pregnancy or birth plan isn’t going the way you wanted it to, it’s natural to feel sadness or anger.
Build a Support Network
Having a supportive network of people surrounding you is vital to your mental health. Friends and family can play a supportive role, but you may find that you need support from people who’ve been in your shoes as well. For support through your high-risk pregnancy, head to Sidelines High-Risk Pregnancy Support. If you know of anyone that has had twins before, maybe this is the time to reach out! We have a great community of families over on our Instagram and Facebook page. No question is ever off limits.
Ask for what you need
If the minute you get home from work, the dog is waiting to be walked and your toddler needs a snack, you might need to ask yourself, “What do I need?” Twin pregnancy can be physically and mentally exhausting. If pregnancy complications arise, you may need time alone to process or start asking for additional help. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to lean on loved ones and ask for help. The last thing you want to do is overdo it, physically and emotionally.
Find the Silver Lining
Part of the twin pregnancy gig means having a few more doctor’s appointments. If complications arise, add a few more to the list. While this can feel taxing, try to look at the additional appointments as an opportunity to get reassurance about your complications. The continued monitoring and extra ultrasounds are to ensure the best possible outcome for you and your babies.
What To Do About Resentment
Feelings of resentment, that your situation isn’t what you expected or planned for, may come up, and are perfectly natural. Give yourself the space to feel those emotions and then remember that everyone is fighting a battle what we cannot necessarily see. Meghan shared a quote that is forever inspiring, so in a dark moment, remember this, “Always believe something wonderful is about to happen.”
This community was created to provide twin parents with a supportive place to find resources and a network for the unique journey that twin parenting brings. Twin pregnancy is a wonderful gift but doesn’t come without its challenges. We are sharing what we have learned from our own experiences and the experiences of the families that we work with to help make life with twins a little easier and a lot more fun! We are here to be your village, so if pregnancy complications arise during your twin pregnancy, know that we are here for you to lean on.