The job of a mom is one of a kind.
You quickly develop magical juggling skills.
Your multitasking skills are on point!
Your organization and sanity are challenged to the core.
All the while, there is a little bug in your ear whispering:
Are you helping your twins develop a healthy bond while at the same time guiding them to be individuals?
Are you getting enough one-on-one time with your twins?
It can be easy to look past the fact that twins are unique individuals who have different wants, dreams and needs. Twins will always have a crazy connection with each other. They also deserve to have their own bond with their parents and find their independence so they grow to be happy, healthy adults, which is why it is crucial to find easy ways to spend one-on-one time with your twins.
Getting one-on-one time with your twins can be realistic with these creative tips:
Cherish Your Early Riser:
Regardless of how diligent you are about getting your twins on the same schedule, it is inevitable that your twins won’t wake up (in the morning or at nap time) at the same time. The period of time you have while one kiddo is still sleeping is prime for getting some quality one-on-one time with your twins. We usually cuddle in bed or on the couch and read some books, put together puzzles or drive cars under the sheets.
We know what you are thinking…..your early riser is usually the same kiddo, so how will you get time with your other twin?
Well, what we have discovered is that one twin usually wakes up earlier in the morning, while the other takes shorter naps. While we know that this isn’t a perfect science, the magic behind finding time to spend with your twins alone lies in how creatively you use the time that comes available to you.
As with most things in life, it’s not about quantity it’s about quality!
Find a Hobby:
Recently, Jenn had her twins signed up for guitar lessons. One of the boys decided that it wasn’t his cup of tea and asked not to play guitar any longer.
You may be wondering how this relates to Jenn finding time to spend with her twins one-on-one. Well, her twins were beginning to discover their likes and dislikes and expressing those as individuals. So, instead of dragging both boys to the activity, she was able to find a time in the evening where the one little dude could stay home with dad while Jenn took the other little dude out for mommy and me music lessons! Both boys are getting one-on-one time with a parent and they are developing their unique interests.
Something like this may take more time to refine with your twins as they get a bit older, but having common hobbies that you can share with your twins is a great way to spend some quality time alone together.
Change Up How you Run Errands or Accomplish Household Chores:
Split ‘em up! On occasion, Meghan and her husband try to tag team errands and split the running around with both kiddos. Jenn loves to divvy up the household chores with her kiddos. One of her sons loves to sweep or help in the kitchen and is excited to help in that area. Her husband takes the other one out to help clean the car or work in the yard.
These are small moments of time in the day-to-day life with twins, but over all those moments add up to be impactful in allowing your twins to develop their independence and their individual bond with their parents.
Make a Date of It:
If it’s on the calendar, it’s more likely to happen!
Make time to spend one-on-one time your twins whenever you can. As your kiddos get older, they will really appreciate the special time and “dates”. They will even start to look forward to it…so will you!
Make a specific dates to see a play, dinner and a movie, Dave & Busters or even go on a short walk to the park! More importantly, mark these dates on your family calendar (stay away from the smartphone calendar) where it is visible to your children. This lets your kids see that you are explicitly making time for them in your busy schedule.
All of these moments will be memories that both you and your children cherish as they grow!
Expect that It Won’t Feel Comfortable For You or Your Twins:
This will be very apparent the first time you go out alone with only one twin. Before her twins turn a year old, Meghan decided to divide and conquer to get their errands done quickly, so they each took a baby and went about the chores.
When they returned home later that day, they couldn’t help but swap stories of the simultaneous meltdowns that happened!
Twins are used to spending a ton of time together, so the first few times they are out of their routine without their twin, it might feel off. Don’t be surprised if your twins are upset when you leave without the other or if they frequently say that they miss their sibling.
Oftentimes, it can feel as though you are missing a part of you. You might catch yourselves looking for the other twin when you are with only one, but over time you will see that it’s nice to focus attention on one child.
We’ll let you in on a little secret….going out with one kid is SO much easier! We’ve often had conversations with each other and our spouses about how much easier having ONE KID would be, but shhhh, don’t tell anyone!
But in all honesty, have twins is a blessing and we wouldn’t have it any other way!
Trust us, being a twin parent has major perks. Double the love, double the giggles, double the joy! So go on….give it a try, get some one-on-one time with your twins! You won’t regret it!