Knowing that I would be having a planned c-section wasn’t overwhelming or upsetting to me. It took us 4 years to conceive and by the time that we got pregnant, all I wanted was to get my babies to Earth safely. For me, and my large fibroids standing in the way, that meant a planned c-section.
I randomly picked our c-section date when my twin boys would be considered full term. My doctor would be returning from vacation, so I snagged the first opening she had, one Tuesday morning in August.
I didn’t think too much of it at the time because I figured I’d probably give birth before then. Turns out, that Tuesday in August ended up being the actual time and date that I delivered my boys.
The experience was rather surreal, going to bed the night before knowing that in the morning I would become a mom to not one, but two babies boys. I could hardly sleep because I was too excited and nervous…and let’s be honest, had to pee 10 times throughout the night.
As Matt and I drove to the hospital at 5 am that morning, the butterflies were wild in my stomach, mixed with a wave of nausea and also a bit of self-doubt.
Would this go smoothly? Would the boys be OK? What was my husband going to name them?
We checked into the hospital and made our way to the room, my husband lugging the bags and pillows and me lugging my giant belly.
A nurse came in to get me ready to head into the OR while Matt suited up into his scrubs. I can remember my heart racing right before I was wheeled out of my room for my spinal tap. This is where Matt and I had to part, temporarily. He would be allowed in the room once I was laying on the operating table.
This was honestly the part of my planned c-section experience that I was most nervous about. Would I move too much as the needle was inserted? Would this hurt? After all of the IVF injections, I was pretty used to needles, but this was the next level.
“Bend over a little more,” the anesthesiologist said, as they tried to position me just right. “Umm, my belly is the size of a planet, I can’t bend over more without falling off of this table,” I thought as I leaned forward just an inch or two more.
As they administered the spinal tap, my reflexes jumped a bit. I wasn’t sure what my body was going to. It happened so fast, within seconds I was lying flat on the operating table and sheets were going up in preparation for surgery.
Matt was by my side the rest of the way.
Tap, tap, poke, prod….”Can you feel this? How about this?”
Once we got the pleasantries out of the way and we were sure that my body was numb, it was time. All of a sudden I heard a familiar song. To this day make it makes me cry when I hear it.
We were able to play music in the OR and since it was scheduled c-section they had let us bring our own music. My husband made a playlist of our favorite songs that we listened to throughout our pregnancy.
Before I knew it, the c-section was in motion.
They say it happens so fast, but at the moment if felt like time had slowed down. My heart started to race and worry flooded my mind. My husband kept reminding me to let up on his hands because I was squeezing so tight. It was all going to be okay. Remain hopeful, I kept telling myself.
Throughout the surgery, there were nurses surrounding us, quite a few of them. There were at least three doctors working below the sheet. The nurse anesthetist was the calm to my storm being the one to assure me that things were right on target.
“He’s got hair!” Those were the words I heard that caused me to hold my breath. Those three words made time standstill. I had waited my whole life for this one moment and then BAM! It was here. A wail filled the room and I lost it.
Arms wide open, holding my husband’s hand, tears fell from my face as ½ of our little family arrived earthbound safely.
The doctor held him up over the sheet so that I could see him for the first time. I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I saw my new baby. They ran him over to me so I could see him up close. He looked at me and for a brief moment just stopped crying. He was perfect. Baby A was here and I was a new mom.
I had to set my overwhelming emotions aside until the second 1/2 of our new family would arrive. He was breech and tucked high up in my ribs making him a bit tricky to get out.
The tugging, the pulling, my body shifting all around on that teeny little table was a crazy feeling, really. But it did not hurt.
“Go get him,” I whispered to myself, trying to push away the anxiety and worry that kept creeping in.
Our second baby boy came barreling in 3 minutes later, a bit blue. They held him up over my sheet so I could take a quick glance and rushed him over to the warming table. Before I held them, they had to make everything was ok.
A minute later, they were both in my arms. They propped the boys up so I could hold them. It was the sweetest moment of my life. Our boys were finally here; our family was complete.
Because of my reaction to the anesthesia, the doctors gave me more meds. So from then on it became a bit blurry. As I was stitched back together and getting ready to head to recovery, my husband stayed with the boys.
He can remember wheeling them out in the same bassinet and asking the nurse, “Ok, which one is which?” As he rounded the corner and introduced the boys to our family, I was wheeled back to my room. Slowly waking up, there was a lot of healing ahead of me (while my planned c-section went smoothly, the recovery was a different story, which I’ll save for another post).
Looking back, I have nothing but positive memories from the boys’ birthday. Sure, the days leading up were nerve-wracking, as any first birth would be. My birth experience happened to be a planned c-section. It was a special day, one that that I will cherish forever.