I am mom, blessed with two wonderful boys, who are twins.
So naturally, I field a lot of personal questions almost on a daily basis.
Perfect strangers will stop in their tracks to ask me,
“Are they twins?”
Or tell me that somehow my life is incomplete by saying,
“All you need now is a little girl.”
I am also a stay at home mom.
I have become very used to the questions that I am asked. Actually, to be honest, I have grown quite fond of most of the questions. But nothing could have prepared me for what faced me the day my kiddos started preschool, leaving me a stay at home mom with no kids at home.
“So what are you going to do all day with all the EXTRA time on your hands now that your kids are in school?”
I gasped in total shock. I didn’t respond and changed the subject. Instantly, I felt this incredible need to defend and justify myself.
I thought about my response for the next time this question came up, which came rather shortly after, and I simply said,
I take care of my family, which in my opinion, is a pretty valuable contribution.
Over the last 5 years, I have wiped countless butts, scrubbed dried boogers off of the dog, cleaned up mess after mess after mess, and dislodged legos from my feet a few times a day.
I have lost at least a year of sleep, played freeze dance in the living room, and stopped in my tracks numerous times a day just to soak up the beautiful simplicity of our everyday life so that those memories aren’t lost.
There have been 100,000 times when I started something, never to finish it.
And for 2 and a ½ years of that time, I worked part time outside of our home.
I haven’t earned a single dollar from all the things I do each day that mostly go unnoticed, but I do it because that is what moms do.
And although my kids are now in school and they can wipe their own butts (mostly), I will continue to be a stay at home mom.
That doesn’t mean that I now live a life of leisure, watching soap-operas and eating Bon-Bon’s all day (although I am not saying that I won’t indulge every now and then). I am not struggling to find purpose in my days just because my kids aren’t tugging at me all day long.
I will accomplish simple errands that usually are nearly impossible with two kids in tow.
I’ll hit the gym regularly, which believe you me, makes me a much nicer human being…and that benefits everyone.
I can volunteer to be the Room Mom in the boys’ classrooms.
I am able to easily drop everything when my kids are sick so they can be comforted and cared for by mommy.
Maybe I’ll get to make fewer trips to the grocery store.
I will continue to work away at growing my own, business. Only now, I don’t have to lay awake extra late at night hammering out blog posts, I can get it done during the day and hopefully get a little more sleep.
Basically, I can now be slightly more efficient with all of the things I usually accomplish, leaving me to have more uninterrupted time with my kids once the school bell rings.
I will get to do all the things during the day that all moms do because although my kids are off at school and my husband is a running business, their needs still need to be met and in my eyes that is my JOB.
So, when people wonder what in the world I do with all my extra time as a stay at home mom with kids in school, I will say that I mothered, just like every mom does, whether they stay at home, work from home or have a high powered career.
We are all mothers, making choices daily that best fit the needs of ourselves and our families.
So to me, the only thing you need to say to a mom is, “you’re doing a great job mama!”
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