The Facts of Life for a Twin Mom

what it's really like to raise twins
Photo Credit: David Lynn Photography


Ahh — peace and quiet.  A rare moment for a twin mom….that’s just a fact of life!

Both babies are finally napping.

You’ve reheated your coffee for the third time and WHAAAA!  

One baby awakens, and you begin it all again, in hopes to get a moment where both babies are sleeping and you can take a shower!

Sound familiar?

Being a twin mom is a unique and wonderful experience.  

Were you completely terrified by the news that you were expecting two or were you overjoyed with your blessings?

Either way, by now you are acutely aware that with the joy of two babies comes the incredible responsibility of taking care of TWO in an extremely sleep-deprived state.

Being a twin mom is a true test of womanhood and your ability to make the impossible magically possible.

Multitasking will become your new middle name.

There may be days when all you want to do is lock yourself in the closet with a goblet of wine just counting the minutes until bedtime.

There will be lots of gawking and intrusive questioning.

You are now a part of a really cool club where only other twin moms, who have a new found talent in their ability to use their feet as hands, can truly understand.

When your hands and hearts are full with the love and joys of raising twins, there are certain things that hold true:

5 Things that Hold True When Raising Twins:

#1 — Trial and error is the key to success

As soon as you learn that you are growing TWO tiny humans, you will frantically begin to gather all the advice and support you can from experienced twin mamas.

Once you digest it and you have two red-faced nuggets screaming at you simultaneously, you have to figure out how to take that great advice and make it work for you.

You basically live life by trial and error because what works one day for your twins will be unsuccessful the next day.

It’s a tricky balancing act, but with two you also get double the practice.  No matter how many women have done it before you, your babies will have different temperaments and different needs.  

All the great advice in the world only gets you so far.  At some point, you are just going to have to get creative and try something wacky in hopes that it works today!

As crazy as it may seem, those wacky ideas begin to flow when you are desperate to find a fix.  

#2 — Throw your ideas of perfection out the window

The house doesn’t need to stay spotless, the dishes can wait, and so can your eyebrow wax you’ve been longing for because you now resemble Freida.  It will all be OK!

It’s hard to let certain ideas go when you have run your life in a very particular way for so many years.

When I am at home, I like my house organized and clean.  It only took a few days of being a new twin mom that I realized I needed to redefine my expectations of cleanliness and embrace a little chaos.

You only have so much energy to waste.

Spend that on your kiddos instead of driving yourself to have everything in pristine order.  Learn to find the joy in the extra noise and the parking lot of construction trucks or Barbie cars that now resides under your dining room table.  

Learn to let it go and start enjoying the beautiful moments right in front of you.

That’s what really matters because tomorrow those moments are your memories.

#3 — Be aware, don’t compare

Twins are simply two individual tiny humans that occupied your uterus at the same time.  

THEY ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

Naturally, they develop at a completely different rate, have different needs and reach developmental milestones at different times.

But it can be easy to catch yourself worrying that one isn’t doing what the other is.

Take a moment, be aware and don’t compare them too much.  One might start crawling and the other hasn’t even rolled over yet.

And that’s OK!  To each is their own.  

Focus on their achievements and celebrate those moments.  Time spent worrying about the other twin is simply wasted time, which isn’t a luxury for moms.  

Your days may seem long, but the years are short.

Enjoy them by celebrating the two amazing people you were blessed with!

#4 — You become a public spectacle

‘Are they twins?’

‘You have your hands full…’

‘I don’t know how you do it with two.’

‘Do twins run in your family?’

Without fail you will be stopped when you are out in public with your twins and will be bombarded with questions from perfect strangers.

Some people just want to relish in the cuteness of your little ones and some will interrogate you to get every last personal detail about yourself and your twins.

It took time for me to get used to the attention I get, both during pregnancy and now with twinks in tow, but I soon realized that people are simply curious and in awe of the incredible miracle that twins are.

When you think about it, we are fascinated by the things we don’t have.  It is intriguing to think about what life would be like birthing and raising two babies at the same time.  

That’s what draws people’s attention to twin moms…..they merely want a glimpse into our lives.

Take it as a compliment….twin moms have really awesome superpowers that attract others!

#5 — You wouldn’t trade being a twin mom for anything in the world

the facts of life for a twin mom

I sit back and watch the incredible relationship that twins have and I feel incredibly lucky that I get to be a part of this amazing journey! Whether it’s listening to the sweet sounds of my boys babbling to each other on the baby monitor early in the morning or watching them hold hands and stare at each other while they eat, I feel so blessed that they will forever share this unique love for each other.

It is a rare bond that cannot be recreated. Watching that relationship develop and flourish is a gift that only a twin mom can understand.

Being a twin mom is an incredible gift…

I am honored to be the mother of twins. It is a badge I wear proudly.  I will not hide the fact that I rarely feel like I have it all together and surely there are days when I wonder if I will make it to bedtime in one piece.

But, let’s be real….what mom IS getting it RIGHT 100% of the time?

One thing is for sure, just when you feel overwhelmed and that you can’t possibly accomplish it all, there is a community of women in the trenches as well, and they get it!

That is why we are here.  We want you to feel supported and understood.

We want you to feel like the awesome mom of twins that YOU ARE!

What have you discovered to be true as a twin mom?

Chat with us in the comments.  We would love to hear about your experiences!

xoxo,Meghan (1)

  • I love your article. It’s beautiful. I am a twin mom too and after reading this I felt a lot more relaxed and happier coz I too am a sleep-deprived clean/tidy- freak. It’s good to know other mums have these amazing adventures..

    • Hi Alisa,

      Thank you for stopping by! The goal of our blog and our writing is to help twin moms feel relaxed, happy and confident in their roles as mamas. We cannot tell you how much it warms our heart to hear that this post did that for you. Everyday is an adventure, which is what makes parenting twins so special! You rock mama!

  • I have 6 kids in total, my twins are last. My husband is helpful where he can be, but is gone 7 days at a time. It’s generally just me…..the twins are now 7 months old and teething….I feel like I’m hitting the bottom hard and I’m not always able to see the light ahead. It’s there right?

    • Hi Laura,

      Wow! We’ll just call you super mom. You definitely have your hands full, but yes there is light at the end of the tunnel. We recently read an article talking about how motherhood doesn’t necessarily get easier, we just get stronger! With each passing stage you figure out how to make it work and once you make it through it, your mom strength only gets better! Hang in there mama, we are here to be your village!

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