One of the most common questions we get from our readers is how do you adequately prepare to welcome twins into your family?
Becoming a new parent can feel overwhelming; the anticipation of your twins and what to REALLY expect once they arrive is enough to drive you crazy.
Sometimes we were so busy being moms, we forgot that our partners were busy preparing for parenthood as well.
Here’s advice on how to prepare you for twins from the dad’s point of view written by Meghan’s husband, Matt.
A Dad’s Eye-Opening Advice to Prepare You For Twins:
How many times have you heard this question, or some version of it…
So… are you ready to become a parent of twins?
Are you nervous to have two babies at once?
Do you feel ready?
You’d probably have a great start to your twins’ college fund if you had a dime for every time your well intentioned friends, family members, or random strangers have engaged you in a conversation about the upcoming birth of your twins by asking you, “So…..are you ready?”
Every time I was drilled about being ready to raise twins, I thought to myself, “How do I possibly answer that question? I have never had a baby, let alone had multiple babies!”
While people mean well, they really have no idea how loaded that question is.
If they did, I think the questions would sound more like this:
Are you ready to take on the most challenging, rewarding and fulfilling role of your life?
Are you ready to be staring at your two children in the delivery room wondering if you are giving them both equal amounts of attention during your first meeting?
Are you ready to incessantly wonder if they are still breathing each and every night of their lives and pray that your teammate/wife is holding up ok?
Here’s the thing….there is no way to prepare you for twins; for everything that is going to be thrown at you as a new parent of multiples.
It’s just not possible.
No matter how many books you read, or how many people offer you advice (and there will be lots of advice) you simply can’t prepare for everything.
There is no way for anyone to tell you exactly what to expect as a new parent of twins because, like everything else in life, all experiences are different and unique.
Your wife will probably have several baby showers. She will come home with baby supplies that you didn’t even know existed.
You’ll turn into Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor and help with the ‘nesting’.
DON’T GET SCARED! You will be ready and you will learn to be outstanding twin parents!
I learned to handle the “So…are you ready?” question AND prepare myself for every situation that I might encounter as a new father of twins by answering that question very affirmatively with this:
“I’m ready to adapt.”
I am ready to adapt to my babies’ needs even though I might not have a clue what they are trying to tell me.
I am ready to adapt to a million wake up calls in the middle of the night.
Knowing what to expect as a new parent of twins simply means being able to adapt to situations with flexibility and ease.
I don’t get too worked up over anything because just when I get one baby calm, something else comes up and I have to adapt to that new situation.
Eventually, I get it all figured out.
Surprisingly, one of my favorite books (an unorthodox recommendation for a good ‘pre-babies’ read), that I got into long before our boys were born, helped me learn how to handle everything that would be thrown at me as a new parent of twins. Read it, I promise it will help prepare you for twins!
Click the book cover to purchase (affiliate link)
At the time, I couldn’t have imagined how it would have such a positive impact on me and help me navigate the chaos of raising new twin babies. In a way, this book has allowed me take it all in stride AND to enjoy it.
As a new parent, you can’t possibly be prepared for everything you will experience and you may often find yourself in ‘survival mode.’
Embrace the chaos.
Remember this…You will find what you look for.
If you look for things to panic about, you will find them. However, if you look for the places where you and your partner successfully navigated something new and challenging, you will most certainly find those too.
Celebrate those wins! High fives are common at our house.
We have a saying at our house: When everything goes as planned, it makes for a really boring story.
Most importantly, enjoy every moment. It goes by fast. You were made for this.