There is a slew of questions that people ask me everyday when were are out and about. I always stop to politely satisfy the most random stranger’s curiosity, although at times it’s tempting to reply with a smart remark and walk away. A few favorites include:
- Are they twins?
- You have your hands full don’t you?
- Are they identical?
- How can you tell them apart?
- Do twins run in your family?
My absolute favorite question is, how did you react when you found out you were having twins? Well, what I don’t tell each random stranger who asks me that question is: no, we were not shocked to be having twins, in fact, would you be surprised to hear we chose to have twins.
We asked for two: Why we chose to have twins:
When I learned that my road to motherhood would be rugged, my perspective on the entire process drastically changed.
I was diagnosed with a Diminished Ovarian Reserve by our reproductive endocrinologist, which basically meant that time was not on my side.
My husband and I were carefully counseled about treatment, our options, and gently warned that we needed to act quickly if we wanted to have the family we had always dreamt about. I was told that our chances for success, even with IVF, were around 35%. Yikes!
If we did get pregnant with one baby, I would only be able to nurse for 6 months or so. We would then have to begin the process over in order to expand or family beyond one child.
With those facts, my husband and I knew that we needed to go at this with some gusto! I can remember the day that we sat in our doctor’s office discussing our plans to move forward with In Vitro.
She asked us, “Are you willing to have twins?” Without hesitation or any previous discussion, my husband and I looked at each other, and responded, “YES!” We chose to have twins.
At that point, she had a very frank, yet supportive discussion with us about the risks associated with a twin pregnancy so that we were adequately prepared.
There wasn’t anything in the world that could have changed our minds. We knew at that moment were meant to have twins!
Although I say we chose to have twins, the reality of it was that my fate wasn’t really in my hands.
Our outcome depended on the way my body responded to the fertility drugs and lifestyle restrictions we had endured for months in preparation for this one cycle.
We weren’t expecting to have many healthy embryos to work with, but we were hoping for the best. In the end, we had two healthy embryos to implant.
When that news came to us, we then had to make the decision to go forward with a fresh transfer or freeze the embryos for genetic testing.
Since we weren’t working with big numbers, and the embryos were highly graded, we decided to take the risk and transfer both of them.
Our outcome was positive and we were fortunate enough to have twin boys!
Trying to have a baby became a very consuming process for me, especially when fertility treatments became my reality. I was grasping at any sign of hope and quickly became obsessed with everything related to getting pregnant: test results, ovulation kits, temperatures, etc.
I had a lot of anxiety about going through numerous IVF cycles and the possibility of having to repeat this soon after a baby was born.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about women who are undergoing treatment while being a mom to other small children. Infertility is a difficult journey where the outcome looks different for every family.
I empathize with women who are dealing with even the slightest bit of infertility or worry about having to face infertility. My husband and I are fortunate that our journey ended with two!
I count my blessings everyday…..and truth be told, I would choose to have twins again in a heartbeat!